i cant stand it anymore.
it explains the opening of yet another blog,
a blog created out of frustration.
another one for ME to rant,
for ME to bitch,
for ME to confide into.
i jus hope this is successful.
THEY break camp alrd.
like.. ytd?
yeps.
and yes, havent been toking to him.
haha, i dnoe why.
we will jus drift apart.
rather, ON and OFF.
and yet,
we get so close at times.
no idea why..
perhaps. hmmmm..
anything can happen.
i wna believe what that someone told kor.
i really really really wan that to happen.
but who do i have to blame?
MYSELF, to name?
YES, that's right.
i can only blame myself.
but i cant stand it no further.
he's hurting me like crap,
everytime we dont speak,
we dont msg, whatever.
i miss him SO SO SO much.
every night i lay in bed,
pray to God,
to ask him to let us msg each other again.
the first time;
God heard my prayer.
and we started speaking for only after a month
of silence.
the next;
one week.
how abt this time?
2 weeks?
1 mnth?
or how about..
FOREVER.
u'll never noe.
u'll really never.
this pain is killing me.
i dont wna suffer
i dont wna go thru this hurt anymore.
but i have to..
since i chose it this way myself.
this path full of thorns,
broken pieces of glass,
it's so hard to walk..
it's so hard.
do u tink i'll ever give up?
WILL I?
God knows..
maybe I will.
once I get myself drowning in pain,
once I feel no longer the strength I've felt,
I will.
I tell you,
I really will.
I really will give this damn thing up,
and take no further care.
I've hurt myself so much,
does he even noe?
does he EVEN CARE?
NO HE DOESNT.
at least, i dont tink he does.
omg..
I don't wna cry every night,
and then fall to sleep tinking of him.
I don't wan this to happen anymore.
CAN SOMEONE OUT THERE TELL ME HOW TO DEAL.
HOW CAN I EVEN LET GO,
WHEN IM HOLDING ON SO TIGHTLY;
I HURT MYSELF SO BAD SO BAD.
I DONT FEEL THIS PAIN ANYMORE
AND SOMETIMES.
I REALLY WNA DIE.
I REALLY REALLY WAN TO.
only almost here,
6:31 AM.
